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welsh
Joined: 18 Aug 2008 Posts: 69 Location: Somewhere In Wales |
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This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us
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Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:51 pm |
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KillaMasta
Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 3132 Location: Münster, Germany |
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ACH Z MOWL ALLA DU OPFAH KIND SPASTII ALLA!
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"One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." Uncle Bionic |
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Fri Aug 22, 2008 10:51 pm |
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( >'.')>
Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 1613 Location: Where i lay my head is home |
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Whats the matter KM? U a naab?
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Sun Aug 24, 2008 12:54 pm |
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ErdingA
Joined: 03 May 2008 Posts: 157 Location: Essen, Germany |
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in the morning :) |
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You, you, and you: Panic. The rest of you, come with me... |
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Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:44 pm |
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Bionic Commando
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 5409 Location: Under the hood. |
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Finally, here is a definition of globalization I can understand and to which I can relate.
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by a Finn, using Bill Gates 's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals...
That, my friends, is Globalization.
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http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death. |
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Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:17 pm |
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MightyMoses
Joined: 15 Oct 2007 Posts: 754 Location: Hamburg, Germany |
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lol bio nice!
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Sun Jan 11, 2009 5:55 pm |
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Eazy
Joined: 25 Dec 2006 Posts: 298
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Yeah nice
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Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:58 pm |
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ErdingA
Joined: 03 May 2008 Posts: 157 Location: Essen, Germany |
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Sun Jun 07, 2009 11:08 pm |
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SauBaer
Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 466 Location: Ze Germani |
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bio is far too intelligent for us gonzos....
erdi erdi... thats what every gonzo thinks of... ehm or not
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Sun Jun 07, 2009 11:11 pm |
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( >'.')>
Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 1613 Location: Where i lay my head is home |
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HAAHAAHAA
fuck this.. life sucks and the u die.. ain't that a bitch..
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Fri Aug 07, 2009 3:44 pm |
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Bionic Commando
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 5409 Location: Under the hood. |
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kirbster, are you drunk?
oh wait, you are...
kirby are you getting too sober?
enjoy these wonderful weathers while we still have those.
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http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death. |
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Fri Aug 07, 2009 6:08 pm |
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Bionic Commando
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 5409 Location: Under the hood. |
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50 Reasons, It's Great to Be a Guy!
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about cars.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If you're 40 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
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http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death. |
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Sun Aug 30, 2009 10:43 am |
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MONTANA
Joined: 24 Mar 2006 Posts: 2625 Location: Freiberg, Germany |
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The company hires a new man. He was supposed to start work on a Monday, but instead of showing up, he calls his new boss. "I'm sick," he says. Boss excuses him. The man shows up Tuesday morning and works throughout the week, greatly impressing everyone with his diligence and ability.
The next Monday, he once again calls his boss. "I'm sick," he says. Boss reluctantly excuses him, but notices that this is the second Monday in a row. Once again, the man shows up Tuesday morning and works throughout the week, even faster and better than the previous week.
The following Monday, he calls his boss again. "I'm sick." Boss excuses him, but decides to call the man in to talk on Tuesday. Tuesday comes and as soon as the man shows up, the boss calls him into his office. "What gives?" asks the boss. "I can see you're a hard worker, but you've only been here three weeks and you've called in sick every Monday."
The man says, "Well, my sister is in a bad marriage and I go over to console her every Monday morning before work. One thing leads to another, and we end up having sex all day long."
"Your sister!" says the boss. "That's disgusting."
The man says, "Well, I told you I was sick.".
_________________ "I´M NOT CRAZY
My Reality Is Just Different Than Yours" |
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Thu Aug 19, 2010 9:39 am |
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Bionic Commando
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 5409 Location: Under the hood. |
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Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:40 am |
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Bionic Commando
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 5409 Location: Under the hood. |
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Sun Oct 31, 2010 10:11 pm |
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