for kirby and bio

I found an essay about the Finnish language. It is very funny, you will laught your heads off... or will you? (correct fishy?)

World language Finnish

"Has the time come for the Finnish language to take its place as a world language?" Obviously it's very difficult to give a definitive answer to such a question. At first glance there seem to be many factors which prevent such a development.
First: Finnish is only spoken by some 0.05 per cent of the world's population; secondly: the language cannot be learned during ten simple lessons; and thirdly: there are still Finns who don't understand the language.

Although the development of the Finnish language has been a tad slow there still are Finns who point out the following advantages of the Finnish language for a world language:

1. We're discussing about a language which is essentially logical. Rules are absolute and hold in all situations, save from exceptions.
2. It is a well sounding language. In other words, it's pleasant for the ear. For this the credit goes to the overwhelming amount of nowels which rule out the foolish consonant combinations. It was proposed recently that some vowels should be exported to Czechoslovakia (I said this is a bit old Smile

where there is a persistent shortage of them, and some Czech consonants should be imported instead - but the negotiations were interrupted et an early phase. The Finns did not want to have anything to do with a language where ice-cream is called "zmrzlina", and the Czechs in turn were suspicious about a language where it was called "jäätelöä".
3. It's a concise language. One Finnish word can mean several things in English. Why waste time and energy to say "the committee which handles negotiations concerning discontinuation of armed hostility" if you can use just one simple word like "aseleponeuvottelutoimikunta?"
4. Learning Finnish gives confidence. If you can learn Finnish you can learn anything.
5. Finnish language has larger and better swearwords than any other language.

In the light of these facts one can promptly come to the conclusion that the introduction of Finnish as the world language would be a blessing to the whole mankind. One problem we then would be facing is to make the rest 99.95 % of the world's population to learn Finnish. We have decided to let the rest of the world to come and enjoy our experiences of the language, and after a couple of months' intense (sometimes even desperate) research we have developed the following method in order to tackle what until now has proven to be one of the most formidable linguistic challenges in the world.

Nouns and their cases
Remember - confidence is the key to success. Never doubt. When you are in the intention of using a noun, you should carefully reconsider the situation using the following mental pattern:

* what is the corresponding noun in Finnish?
* singular or plural?
* which case? -nominative, accusative, genitive, essive, partitive, translative, inessive, elative, illative, adessive, ablative, allative, abessive, commitative or instructive?
* is it possible to avoid using a noun?

Having pondered this in the well-known split of a second, you breethe deep and pronounce the the first half of the noun in a pulpit voice which then diminishes into a hoarse whisper when the case ending should be pronounced. This method to demonstrate your skills in using cases is strongly recommended; after all - although you yourself can't prove that you made it right, a Finn or anybody else cannot prove that you made it it wrong, either. The essential thing is to have the appearance of self-confidence.

Numerals
Superficially observed there seem to be very few similarities between the Finnish and the English numbering system. For instance:
yksi one
kaksi two
kolme three
neljä four
viisi five
kuusi six
seitsemän seven
kahdeksan eight
yhdeksän nine
kymmenen ten
A closer investigation, however, reveals some facts that can be helpful for a beginner:

1. "kolme" und "three" both have five letters
2. "viisi" und "five" seem to be built around letter "v"
3. "seitsemän" and "seven" have apparently the same origin (clearly words which start with "s").

Other clues for learning numerals:

* Forget the English numerals completely. Then you are are forced to learn the Finnish ones to be able to say what time it is. If such a measure causes you problems later when you should speak English you can make use of a Finnish-English dictionary, or, if it concerns numerals up twenty, make use of your fingers and toes.
* Don't waste your time trying to learn numerals above twenty millions. It's highly unlikely that you are going to have that much money, not even Finnish "markkas".

Months and days
Say "first day", "third day", "second month", "mont next-to-last" etc. This saves you two years of learning names by heart and lets the one you speak with do all the work.

Direct object
Most Finnish grammatical books are especially easy to understand concerning "direct objects". It goes something like: In Finnish the direct object (commonly called "accusative object") can be nominative, genitive or partitive. To make it all even easier to understand nominative and genitive are called accusative. There also exists real accusative which isn't called anything. Great cautiousness is required when grammatical terms are construed. If you see the word "accusative" it can mean nominative or genitive, but never accusative; the term "nominative" can mean accusative or perhaps nominative; "genitive" can mean accusative or just simply genitive whereas partitive is always partitive although it may be accusative.

Verbs
The best advice is: Don't use verbs at all. Sometimes you may find it a little difficult to lead a somewhat longer conversation but diligent training makes you skilled (we decreased the number of errors by 20% when we ended up using this method to leave out the verbs. You can deduct another 15% leaving out all adjectives, adverbs and pronouns, although then the conversations tend to sink to a low level if you are not skilled with your hands).

Pronunciation
Some difficult phonems and their correct pronunciation:
ää like "a" in "expatiatory", longer and more intensive. Mouth open as wide as possible. Ears stretched far back.
äy half platal, half alveolart, half dental. Scornful appearance.
yö be very careful with this.
uu like in Arabic.
rr strongly rolling. Lose teeth are helpful here

Original text by Richard Lewis, translation to Swedish by Gunnel Stenberg, retranslation back to English by Kari Yli-Kuha Wink

_________________

Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page

Bloody Hell Exclamation

_________________

When I'm drunk enough, I don't speak, I just drool.
Wink

_________________

http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death.

	Bionic Commando wrote:
	When I'm drunk enough, I don't speak, I just drool.

Like that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ar6h4KR0FOs

_________________

Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page

TriffiD wrote:

I found an essay about the Finnish language. It is very funny, you will laught your heads off... or will you? (correct fishy?)

World language Finnish

"Has the time come for the Finnish language to take its place as a world language?" Obviously it's very difficult to give a definitive answer to such a question. At first glance there seem to be many factors which prevent such a development.
First: Finnish is only spoken by some 0.05 per cent of the world's population; secondly: the language cannot be learned during ten simple lessons; and thirdly: there are still Finns who don't understand the language.

Although the development of the Finnish language has been a tad slow there still are Finns who point out the following advantages of the Finnish language for a world language:

1. We're discussing about a language which is essentially logical. Rules are absolute and hold in all situations, save from exceptions.
2. It is a well sounding language. In other words, it's pleasant for the ear. For this the credit goes to the overwhelming amount of nowels which rule out the foolish consonant combinations. It was proposed recently that some vowels should be exported to Czechoslovakia (I said this is a bit old Smile

where there is a persistent shortage of them, and some Czech consonants should be imported instead - but the negotiations were interrupted et an early phase. The Finns did not want to have anything to do with a language where ice-cream is called "zmrzlina", and the Czechs in turn were suspicious about a language where it was called "jäätelöä".
3. It's a concise language. One Finnish word can mean several things in English. Why waste time and energy to say "the committee which handles negotiations concerning discontinuation of armed hostility" if you can use just one simple word like "aseleponeuvottelutoimikunta?"
4. Learning Finnish gives confidence. If you can learn Finnish you can learn anything.
5. Finnish language has larger and better swearwords than any other language.

In the light of these facts one can promptly come to the conclusion that the introduction of Finnish as the world language would be a blessing to the whole mankind. One problem we then would be facing is to make the rest 99.95 % of the world's population to learn Finnish. We have decided to let the rest of the world to come and enjoy our experiences of the language, and after a couple of months' intense (sometimes even desperate) research we have developed the following method in order to tackle what until now has proven to be one of the most formidable linguistic challenges in the world.

Nouns and their cases
Remember - confidence is the key to success. Never doubt. When you are in the intention of using a noun, you should carefully reconsider the situation using the following mental pattern:

* what is the corresponding noun in Finnish?
* singular or plural?
* which case? -nominative, accusative, genitive, essive, partitive, translative, inessive, elative, illative, adessive, ablative, allative, abessive, commitative or instructive?
* is it possible to avoid using a noun?

Having pondered this in the well-known split of a second, you breethe deep and pronounce the the first half of the noun in a pulpit voice which then diminishes into a hoarse whisper when the case ending should be pronounced. This method to demonstrate your skills in using cases is strongly recommended; after all - although you yourself can't prove that you made it right, a Finn or anybody else cannot prove that you made it it wrong, either. The essential thing is to have the appearance of self-confidence.

Numerals
Superficially observed there seem to be very few similarities between the Finnish and the English numbering system. For instance:
yksi one
kaksi two
kolme three
neljä four
viisi five
kuusi six
seitsemän seven
kahdeksan eight
yhdeksän nine
kymmenen ten
A closer investigation, however, reveals some facts that can be helpful for a beginner:

1. "kolme" und "three" both have five letters
2. "viisi" und "five" seem to be built around letter "v"
3. "seitsemän" and "seven" have apparently the same origin (clearly words which start with "s").

Other clues for learning numerals:

* Forget the English numerals completely. Then you are are forced to learn the Finnish ones to be able to say what time it is. If such a measure causes you problems later when you should speak English you can make use of a Finnish-English dictionary, or, if it concerns numerals up twenty, make use of your fingers and toes.
* Don't waste your time trying to learn numerals above twenty millions. It's highly unlikely that you are going to have that much money, not even Finnish "markkas".

Months and days
Say "first day", "third day", "second month", "mont next-to-last" etc. This saves you two years of learning names by heart and lets the one you speak with do all the work.

Direct object
Most Finnish grammatical books are especially easy to understand concerning "direct objects". It goes something like: In Finnish the direct object (commonly called "accusative object") can be nominative, genitive or partitive. To make it all even easier to understand nominative and genitive are called accusative. There also exists real accusative which isn't called anything. Great cautiousness is required when grammatical terms are construed. If you see the word "accusative" it can mean nominative or genitive, but never accusative; the term "nominative" can mean accusative or perhaps nominative; "genitive" can mean accusative or just simply genitive whereas partitive is always partitive although it may be accusative.

Verbs
The best advice is: Don't use verbs at all. Sometimes you may find it a little difficult to lead a somewhat longer conversation but diligent training makes you skilled (we decreased the number of errors by 20% when we ended up using this method to leave out the verbs. You can deduct another 15% leaving out all adjectives, adverbs and pronouns, although then the conversations tend to sink to a low level if you are not skilled with your hands).

Pronunciation
Some difficult phonems and their correct pronunciation:
ää like "a" in "expatiatory", longer and more intensive. Mouth open as wide as possible. Ears stretched far back.
äy half platal, half alveolart, half dental. Scornful appearance.
yö be very careful with this.
uu like in Arabic.
rr strongly rolling. Lose teeth are helpful here

Original text by Richard Lewis, translation to Swedish by Gunnel Stenberg, retranslation back to English by Kari Yli-Kuha Wink

WTF ?

_________________

	Bonzo wrote:
	Have to say you Germans look very well behaved if that was the Uk you would see drunk fat girls fighting

Now seriously - could any of you Finns tell me if you really have 15 (in words: fifteen) cases? You can't, right?

_________________

Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page

we do,
viisitoista, just add "toista"
behind every number
Very Happy

_________________

http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death.

	TriffiD wrote:
	Now seriously - could any of you Finns tell me if you really have 15 (in words: fifteen) cases? You can't, right?

at least, there is no gender

	muetze wrote:
	at least, there is no gender

Oh, thanks for that link, mütze. I didnt expect wikipedia to be that exhaustive, so I didn't even try. I'll get into that tomorrow.

And Bio: 15 cases! That is something. I always found it very strange that tere are 5 cases in Latin whilst we Germans are so poor, we only can afford 4. Now this is ridiculous.

_________________

Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page

I don't understand.

Twisted Evil

_________________

http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death.

are they all females? or males? or neutral? why havent you told me bio? Crying or Very sad

	SauBaer wrote:
	are they all females? or males? or neutral? why havent you told me bio?

Nonono, the Finnish only gender is "drunk".

_________________

Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page

drue wordz uou zpeak driffid... *hick*
sou dey ar genda drung in 15 cazez of 15??? hau mani prozentz are dis? high level mathematicz... *hick*

(btw. germans are progressive, 4 cases for 4 genders, male, female, neutral and retard Idea

I think I probably just got the meaning of a Finnish sentence for the first time in my life:

This means: "Hmm, tastes funny."
Am I right? Very Happy

_________________

Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page

almost, yes Very Happy

_________________

http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death.