Bionic's Cookingschool PART 2

PART 2: TRAINED

OK, so we are back in the ULTIMATE cookingschool. Here we do the most difficult and exotic dishes around the world!
In last episode, we learned, how to make Italian food, today... we travel far, far to the west, where is a land of Freedom and Boredom, THE HOLY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! YOOHOO! GOD BLESS THE YANKEES!

Today's dish is healthy breakfast for difficult mornings...

BACON AND EGGS (WITH BEER AND CIGARETTES):

First you'll need these things...
1. Frying pan of some sort (or hot V8 engine).
2. Bacon
3. Eggs

Eggs are quite exotic, so you might ask (as a noob): "Where those eggs come from?" Well... masterchef|Bionic tell you that in the future... "eggmaking" is a quite scary process.

Second, put your frying pan to to the top of the oven (check part 1 to see what was oven, if you don't remember it anymore).

Next, take the Bacon and eggs, and put them on some level position...
put them close to the frying pan, if you want to make things easier.

Next you must turn your stove on, this isn't easy, so follow carefully...
YOU MUST TURN THE BIGGEST NUMBER IN YOUR STOVE, SO, THAT IT IS POINTED UPWARDS. In my stove, the biggest number is 6, but in your crappy stoves, there maybe 4 numbers or so. Look the picture:

Next take the bacon, it looks like this, you can tell it is bacon and not eggs, because it is more long, than round, and it says "bacon" (usually in your language). You also might notice, that your stove is beginning to heat up, don't worry, it is okay.

Bacon:

Next, put the bacon in the frying pan, like this:

Take the eggs out of the package, and you find them as a round-white-things (see pic), I'll use 3 this time:

The next thing is the hardest, you must brake the eggs using your skinny and weak little hands, put the insides of the eggs to the glass or somewhere you can pour them in the pan later. There will be usually millions of little pieces of the eggshell in the glass also, so take the biggest ones and throw them away. masterchef|Bionic usually eats the shells also, but in your little babystomach they will feel like shit. Twisted Evil

In the picture above, you see the strange looking tool, it really doesn't matter, what it looks like, but try to find something like that, you'll need it later.

You can also add a healthy sausages in the pan, but my old one was all green on the other side, I usually eat them from the "not so green side", but this one was so smelly (like montys underwear), I've had to pass (you can always try to feed them for your friends)... Laughing

(sry bout the crappy picture, the fumes from the sausage made my picture all blurry, actually I'm not sure if that was a sausage at all...I hope so)

Turn around the bacons with the "strange-tool":

When the bacon is nearly vaporized to the thin air and all black, throw the eggs to the pan, you'll see how they change color:

After the eggs are all solid (and not liquid form), empty the pan to the plate (I hope you bastard know what that is...):

ENJOY!

After finished, drink about 20 beers, and smoke like 40 cigarettes, if you don't, all the grease will block your veins.

And remember:

BACON AND EGGS, WITHOUT BEER, IS LIKE HEINI WITHOUT HAIRY TITS.

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http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death.

you have to write a book bio....my suggestion for the title would be:

"how to shorten a life in the most effective way"

Laughing

looks yummy....but my eggs are better...

stay tuned...

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Deimos: His name means dread, and he was a fearsome son of Bull & Dirty the fearful gods of war. He always attended his gay fathers on the battlefield, along with his compadres.

great job Biofantastically

i like your odd-looking cooking area..gggggonzo-like

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"I´M NOT CRAZY
My Reality Is Just Different Than Yours"

Last edited by MONTANA on Mon Mar 17, 2008 5:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

thats entertainment! Very Happy

love it!

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Hr hr.

Nice Bio.

I've never seen "finsk bacon" WTF is that? We need to get ourselves a Danish gonzo. Legend has it that the best bacon comes from Denmark.

I have trouble progressing through your cooking school because as soon as I see that oven of yours I fall off my chair in admiration. You should give it a name. Something like "Bertha, or Schmackenwolf"

Your oven will be forever in te gonzo all of fame.

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Yeah! BioHazards gonzo stove Laughing

That kitchen is so gonzo there isnt a name for it, me love it !!!!

psst..
Bio told me that his jewel is on the first wary steps..

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"I´M NOT CRAZY
My Reality Is Just Different Than Yours"

oO masterchef bio...I learned so much....but it was really hard, but u re a fair teacher as well. If this only was step 2 and was allrdy so hard for me to understand, I just can hope that I m going to survive step 3, to die with a smile in step 4. Thx bio thx. Laughing

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	Blueberry wrote:
	yeah, quote me harder, bitch

	Bionic Commando wrote:

Did u just throw up on that frying pan and then cooked it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!

@d3im0s
Uuuuhhh... want to see your eggs.

@monty
thnx

@blue
thnx

@spliffy
She got a name: HEINI (dirty and old cunt)

@init
;D

@splinx
Yeah, the more advanced levels will crush you under the microwave oven

@kirby
Just a little

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http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770
C4 Corvette, love her till my death.

wtf.. looks like the kitchen of hanibal lector.. i don't wanna know what's inside the washing-machine !!!!

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	HEINI wrote:
	..looks like the kitchen of hanibal lector..

what latest version did you seen? Rolling Eyes

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"I´M NOT CRAZY
My Reality Is Just Different Than Yours"

bio is that your kitchen?

if yes ure sure a gamer Twisted Evil

but then i can't understand how you could manage that hard cooking stuff Wink

btw, you said you'd be using a knife in lesson 2... i thought we would learn some really dangerous things... Sad

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Dude, Bionic that's NOT how you make bacon and eggs. Your eggs should be beautiful and crispy on the edges, quite round and the yolk MUST NOT BE BROKEN!
Remember if you break the yolk the gods will rain down firey death, and your tits will grow hair down to your knees.

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