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Tell the Queen, please.
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TriffiD
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Joined: 04 Feb 2007
Posts: 1939
Location: Lüneburg, Germany

Post Tell the Queen, please. Reply with quote
So! I ordered a book from the UK last week. It arrived today. It is a copy of Reginald Roses 'Twelve Angry Men'. I ordered some DVDs from there before. they all (!) arrived with broken jewelcases. Normally I just replace the cases and things are settled, but they came in special transparent 3- and 4-disk cases (Michael Palins travels) and my replacement spoiled the looks completely.
And now the Book. It was not broken (hahaaa - books are more flexible) but after they gave it some thought, they managed to bend the book spine so it is kind of wrinkled.
Whenever I get mail with a Royal Mail stamp on it, I have no room for hope for the contents. It surely is kaputt.

So could someone please tell her Majesty that I am (on the whole) the nicest guy that ever set foot on this earth. So there is no need to wreck goods, sent to me.

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Mon Mar 30, 2009 9:46 am View user's profile Send private message
( >'.')>



Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 1613
Location: Where i lay my head is home

Post Reply with quote
Book? Whats is that? Something edible?

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d3im0s wrote:
I like arnie's dick Laughing Laughing
Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:18 am View user's profile Send private message
Bionic Commando



Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 5409
Location: Under the hood.

Post Reply with quote
neelix: books? that sounds like something to eat!

Surprised

bonzos british mailbox is too small.

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Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:20 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
MightyMoses



Joined: 15 Oct 2007
Posts: 754
Location: Hamburg, Germany

Post Reply with quote
a broken book.
lol
.

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Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:35 pm View user's profile Send private message
FishFace



Joined: 06 Sep 2006
Posts: 590
Location: Northport, Manchester

Post Reply with quote
TriffiD, I rang up the Queen today and she told me the following:

We are sobbingly, seriously, shamedly sorry for the large, loathsome, laborious loss you have suffered. Regrettably, We cannot rectify the situation without resulting in ridiculous ramifications. Our postal service is permitted a pinch of perniciousness, pestilence and pestiferousness in their conveyance of items throughout the realm. Indubitably you have been ignobly injured by influences inharmoniously intriguing to impair your involvement with your goods. Rest assured that we will advise our servants of their apparent avarice and the aggravation they have authored, in addition to an expected absence of such inadequacies in auxiliary instances.

HM Queen Elizabeth II, Regina.

She also told me that her dog recently had a herzanschlag and that she was looking forward to toad in the hole.

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Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:58 pm View user's profile Send private message
( >'.')>



Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 1613
Location: Where i lay my head is home

Post Reply with quote
So many adjectives Shocked

And why would the queen want to put a toad in her hole Rolling Eyes

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d3im0s wrote:
I like arnie's dick Laughing Laughing
Wed Apr 15, 2009 6:57 pm View user's profile Send private message
TriffiD
Site Admin


Joined: 04 Feb 2007
Posts: 1939
Location: Lüneburg, Germany

Post Reply with quote
Hah, many adjectives, indeed. Reminds me of this:

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
He chortled in his joy.

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.


Might not be gonzo-compatible, though. No genitals in it and no obvious description of sexual intercourse. Laughing

But anyways. Please tell the Queen that although I still bear a considerable grudge against her and her peasant postal subjects, I am none the less all so anxious about her dog, suffering from a thing that is completely unknown to German medicine. Tell her majesty to kindly consider to command the dog not to close its eyes. Even a blink could be starkly fatal. In addition to that it should avoid flying busses.
I hope she enjoys her t.i.t.h. (interesting! Isn't 'to tith' some term from medieval aristocratic habits?)

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Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:47 pm View user's profile Send private message
FishFace



Joined: 06 Sep 2006
Posts: 590
Location: Northport, Manchester

Post Reply with quote
TriffiD wrote:
But anyways. Please tell the Queen that although I still bear a considerable grudge against her and her peasant postal subjects, I am none the less all so anxious about her dog, suffering from a thing that is completely unknown to German medicine. Tell her majesty to kindly consider to command the dog not to close its eyes. Even a blink could be starkly fatal. In addition to that it should avoid flying busses.
I hope she enjoys her t.i.t.h. (interesting! Isn't 'to tith' some term from medieval aristocratic habits?)


I think that's a tithe... She says she enjoys T.I.T.H. nearly as much as her tithes, but the latter are a smidge better. She also informed me that her dog knows not to close its eyes and indeed that it shouldn't blink. As a precautionary measure she also said that it should avoid turning its back if at all possible and that there was some information of which you all should be informed...

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Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:12 pm View user's profile Send private message
Bionic Commando



Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 5409
Location: Under the hood.

Post Reply with quote
Lewis Carroll??

Twisted Evil

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Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:47 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
TriffiD
Site Admin


Joined: 04 Feb 2007
Posts: 1939
Location: Lüneburg, Germany

Post Reply with quote
[quote="FishFace"]
TriffiD wrote:
I think that's a tithe... She says she enjoys T.I.T.H. nearly as much as her tithes, but the latter are a smidge better. She also informed me that her dog knows not to close its eyes and indeed that it shouldn't blink. As a precautionary measure she also said that it should avoid turning its back if at all possible and that there was some information of which you all should be informed...

Very Happy Ah, 'tihe' it is indeed. Would have been too nice a pun.
The rest must sound very cryptic to the uninformed ear...

Bionic Commando wrote:
Lewis Carroll??

Yes, one of is nonsense-poems. Genius, that bloke, though I cannot understand most of that kind of stuff. Sad

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Thu Apr 16, 2009 1:20 pm View user's profile Send private message
Spliffy
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Joined: 10 Feb 2006
Posts: 2106
Location: Coquelles, France

Post Reply with quote
Fishy and Triffy are engaged in some intellectual cock swinging....

Think they're compensating for something my fellow gonzos?

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Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:04 pm View user's profile Send private message
FishFace



Joined: 06 Sep 2006
Posts: 590
Location: Northport, Manchester

Post Reply with quote
Bionic Commando wrote:
Lewis Carroll??

Yes, one of is nonsense-poems. Genius, that bloke, though I cannot understand most of that kind of stuff. Sad[/quote]

I think if you could understand it you would need your head checking - probably 25% of the words are completely made up.

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Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:07 pm View user's profile Send private message
FishFace



Joined: 06 Sep 2006
Posts: 590
Location: Northport, Manchester

Post Reply with quote
Spliffy wrote:
Fishy and Triffy are engaged in some intellectual cock swinging....

Think they're compensating for something my fellow gonzos?


Come over here and find out, big boy!
Personally, I always thought "Spliffy" was describing something other than a joint...

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Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:16 pm View user's profile Send private message
( >'.')>



Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 1613
Location: Where i lay my head is home

Post Reply with quote
FishFace wrote:
Spliffy wrote:
Fishy and Triffy are engaged in some intellectual cock swinging....

Think they're compensating for something my fellow gonzos?


Come over here and find out, big boy!
Personally, I always thought "Spliffy" was describing something other than a joint...


Spliff will get in his ghostbuster costume and come swing cocks with u Very Happy

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d3im0s wrote:
I like arnie's dick Laughing Laughing
Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:47 pm View user's profile Send private message
MONTANA



Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 2624
Location: Freiberg, Germany

Post Reply with quote
( >'.')> wrote:
FishFace wrote:
Spliffy wrote:
Fishy and Triffy are engaged in some intellectual cock swinging....

Think they're compensating for something my fellow gonzos?


Come over here and find out, big boy!
Personally, I always thought "Spliffy" was describing something other than a joint...


Spliff will get in his ghostbuster costume and come swing cocks with u Very Happy


Then he should beware of the almighty cockbusters - d3im0s and ShiFters..





..besides that- who's Mighty?

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