Register • Search • FAQ • Memberlist • Usergroups • Log in Tell the Queen, please. Goto page 1, 2  Next      teamgonzo.net Forum Index » Off-Topic View previous topic View next topic Tell the Queen, please. Author Message TriffiD Site Admin Joined: 04 Feb 2007 Posts: 1939 Location: Lüneburg, Germany Tell the Queen, please. So! I ordered a book from the UK last week. It arrived today. It is a copy of Reginald Roses 'Twelve Angry Men'. I ordered some DVDs from there before. they all (!) arrived with broken jewelcases. Normally I just replace the cases and things are settled, but they came in special transparent 3- and 4-disk cases (Michael Palins travels) and my replacement spoiled the looks completely. And now the Book. It was not broken (hahaaa - books are more flexible) but after they gave it some thought, they managed to bend the book spine so it is kind of wrinkled. Whenever I get mail with a Royal Mail stamp on it, I have no room for hope for the contents. It surely is kaputt. So could someone please tell her Majesty that I am (on the whole) the nicest guy that ever set foot on this earth. So there is no need to wreck goods, sent to me. _________________ Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page Mon Mar 30, 2009 9:46 am ( >'.')> Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 1613 Location: Where i lay my head is home Book? Whats is that? Something edible? _________________ d3im0s wrote: I like arnie's dick Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:18 am Bionic Commando Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 5409 Location: Under the hood. neelix: books? that sounds like something to eat! bonzos british mailbox is too small. _________________ http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770 C4 Corvette, love her till my death. Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:20 pm MightyMoses Joined: 15 Oct 2007 Posts: 754 Location: Hamburg, Germany a broken book. lol . _________________ Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:35 pm FishFace Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 590 Location: Northport, Manchester TriffiD, I rang up the Queen today and she told me the following: We are sobbingly, seriously, shamedly sorry for the large, loathsome, laborious loss you have suffered. Regrettably, We cannot rectify the situation without resulting in ridiculous ramifications. Our postal service is permitted a pinch of perniciousness, pestilence and pestiferousness in their conveyance of items throughout the realm. Indubitably you have been ignobly injured by influences inharmoniously intriguing to impair your involvement with your goods. Rest assured that we will advise our servants of their apparent avarice and the aggravation they have authored, in addition to an expected absence of such inadequacies in auxiliary instances. HM Queen Elizabeth II, Regina. She also told me that her dog recently had a herzanschlag and that she was looking forward to toad in the hole. _________________ Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:58 pm ( >'.')> Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 1613 Location: Where i lay my head is home So many adjectives And why would the queen want to put a toad in her hole _________________ d3im0s wrote: I like arnie's dick Wed Apr 15, 2009 6:57 pm TriffiD Site Admin Joined: 04 Feb 2007 Posts: 1939 Location: Lüneburg, Germany Hah, many adjectives, indeed. Reminds me of this: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch! He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chortled in his joy. Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. Might not be gonzo-compatible, though. No genitals in it and no obvious description of sexual intercourse. But anyways. Please tell the Queen that although I still bear a considerable grudge against her and her peasant postal subjects, I am none the less all so anxious about her dog, suffering from a thing that is completely unknown to German medicine. Tell her majesty to kindly consider to command the dog not to close its eyes. Even a blink could be starkly fatal. In addition to that it should avoid flying busses. I hope she enjoys her t.i.t.h. (interesting! Isn't 'to tith' some term from medieval aristocratic habits?) _________________ Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:47 pm FishFace Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 590 Location: Northport, Manchester TriffiD wrote: But anyways. Please tell the Queen that although I still bear a considerable grudge against her and her peasant postal subjects, I am none the less all so anxious about her dog, suffering from a thing that is completely unknown to German medicine. Tell her majesty to kindly consider to command the dog not to close its eyes. Even a blink could be starkly fatal. In addition to that it should avoid flying busses. I hope she enjoys her t.i.t.h. (interesting! Isn't 'to tith' some term from medieval aristocratic habits?) I think that's a tithe... She says she enjoys T.I.T.H. nearly as much as her tithes, but the latter are a smidge better. She also informed me that her dog knows not to close its eyes and indeed that it shouldn't blink. As a precautionary measure she also said that it should avoid turning its back if at all possible and that there was some information of which you all should be informed... _________________ Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:12 pm Bionic Commando Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 5409 Location: Under the hood. Lewis Carroll?? _________________ http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3332770 C4 Corvette, love her till my death. Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:47 pm TriffiD Site Admin Joined: 04 Feb 2007 Posts: 1939 Location: Lüneburg, Germany [quote="FishFace"] TriffiD wrote: I think that's a tithe... She says she enjoys T.I.T.H. nearly as much as her tithes, but the latter are a smidge better. She also informed me that her dog knows not to close its eyes and indeed that it shouldn't blink. As a precautionary measure she also said that it should avoid turning its back if at all possible and that there was some information of which you all should be informed... Ah, 'tihe' it is indeed. Would have been too nice a pun. The rest must sound very cryptic to the uninformed ear... Bionic Commando wrote: Lewis Carroll?? Yes, one of is nonsense-poems. Genius, that bloke, though I cannot understand most of that kind of stuff. _________________ Finally online: TriffiD's Astronomy Page Thu Apr 16, 2009 1:20 pm Spliffy Site Admin Joined: 10 Feb 2006 Posts: 2106 Location: Coquelles, France Fishy and Triffy are engaged in some intellectual cock swinging.... Think they're compensating for something my fellow gonzos? _________________ Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:04 pm FishFace Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 590 Location: Northport, Manchester Bionic Commando wrote: Lewis Carroll?? Yes, one of is nonsense-poems. Genius, that bloke, though I cannot understand most of that kind of stuff. [/quote] I think if you could understand it you would need your head checking - probably 25% of the words are completely made up. _________________ Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:07 pm FishFace Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 590 Location: Northport, Manchester Spliffy wrote: Fishy and Triffy are engaged in some intellectual cock swinging.... Think they're compensating for something my fellow gonzos? Come over here and find out, big boy! Personally, I always thought "Spliffy" was describing something other than a joint... _________________ Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:16 pm ( >'.')> Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 1613 Location: Where i lay my head is home FishFace wrote: Spliffy wrote: Fishy and Triffy are engaged in some intellectual cock swinging.... Think they're compensating for something my fellow gonzos? Come over here and find out, big boy! Personally, I always thought "Spliffy" was describing something other than a joint... Spliff will get in his ghostbuster costume and come swing cocks with u _________________ d3im0s wrote: I like arnie's dick Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:47 pm MONTANA Joined: 24 Mar 2006 Posts: 2625 Location: Freiberg, Germany ( >'.')> wrote: FishFace wrote: Spliffy wrote: Fishy and Triffy are engaged in some intellectual cock swinging.... Think they're compensating for something my fellow gonzos? Come over here and find out, big boy! Personally, I always thought "Spliffy" was describing something other than a joint... Spliff will get in his ghostbuster costume and come swing cocks with u Then he should beware of the almighty cockbusters - d3im0s and ShiFters.. ..besides that- who's Mighty? _________________ "I´M NOT CRAZY My Reality Is Just Different Than Yours" Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:12 pm Display posts from previous:  All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year  Oldest FirstNewest First     teamgonzo.net Forum Index » Off-Topic All times are GMT + 1 Hour Goto page 1, 2  Next Page 1 of 2   Jump to:  Select a forum About Team Gonzo----------------NewsWho is Gonzo?The Gonzo ServersBecome a member!Wanna fight gonzo|? Public Forum----------------Talk, talk, talk!Help & SupportOff-TopicFunny shit!Gonzo and friendsCook it baby!Games & More TrueCombat:Elite----------------About TrueCombat:EliteTrueCombat:Elite Downloads You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group Design by Freestyle XL / Flowers Online.